Monday, January 08, 2007

Spammin'

I got my first penis enlargement spam email today. People always say that's the one spam e-mail everybody gets. I had never recieved one until now. I guess I should crack open a bottle of champagne and celebrate.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

The Perils of Dating

This mostly involves my sort of ex boyfriend, I call him that even though our relationship, whilst it was ongoing was A)on and off and B)somewhat un-defined. But this is the easiest way to refer to him so I'll go with it.

When I'm at work I don't really make much of an effort with my appearance, because..well, mostly, I don't care that much and its work.

So I'm on my lunch break, no make-up. Generally looking very ordinary, not the state you want to be in when you run into your ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. I was sauntering along looking for something to eat when I notice a familiar ass in front of me. He turns his face to talk to the diminutive brunette who is currently clutching his hand and lo and behold it is the dreaded ex. Who I have not seen for at least 4 months. After such a time period you want him to eat his damn heart out the next time he sees you right? Well in my current state I think he would be more likely be smiling in relief that he got rid of 60kg worth of mediocre. The relationship ended mostly to me being flaky and independent and him wanting to settle down and have kids and move into the house right next door to his parents...which I really was not into. So even though it was a good idea for us to break up, I still want him to want me. However I digress.

When I spotted him and realisation dawned I did a very undignified thing. I dived behind a bin next to which was a group of teenagers, who all stared at me like I was a crazy person. Luckily Ex and co. wandered into a shop nearby and I was spared the awkward. I couldn't help thinking though that if my life was a romantic comedy he would have likely turned around and seen me, at which point I would have probably fallen over and twisted my ankle. Thank god my life isn't a movie. However if it was I would have been rescued by a handsome guy, who would then have to pretend to be my boyfriend so I'm not embarrassed in front of the Ex. okay now I wish my life was a romantic comedy.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year!

Well we've made it through another one. No apocolypses yet which is good. I brought in the new year by getting shit faced in a bar and then playing Twister with a bunch of people as shit faced as me. It was great. I have the pictures to prove it. Out of context though they look like a messy half clothed orgy, which I suppose is the point of Twister. Getting someone's ass all up in your face. This morning was a toughie, I felt like I'd been dragged through a sandblaster and thrown over a hedge. Looked like it too.
I think I've managed to clean up well and am now going to go ice skating at The National History Museum.
Anyway Happy New Year. Lets hope we manage to keep those resolutions this time around.